Meandering Thoughts......
Sunday, July 1, 2012
A Teacher;s Perspective on the End of the School Year
Hey everyone. I know I've been MIA for the past month, the end of the school year is a crazy time for us teachers. That coupled with my home computer breaking, makes for no time to blog. So here we are, at the end of the school year. I personally love this time of year, not for my summer vacation (which, by the way I do not get since summer school starts Monday for teachers and July 5th for students, making our "summer vacation a 4 day weekend), but because it is a time to sit back and reflect on the past year. This is a time to see how successful you really are as a teacher, and a time to look back and see where you need to improve for next year. During the last couple of weeks of the school year, I love to look back on where my students were in Spetember and where they are now. It is especially rewarding when I look at the students whom other teachers "warned" me about and see how far they have come. out of my 6 students, 3 were unable to read in September. Today one is reading around 30 words, while the other two are reading close to 100 words, and some stories. I have 5 students doing simple addition and one who could not speak back in September, who is verbally requesting "pee-pee" pretzels, juice, candy, chips, and more. My students who didn't acknowledge one another in September are now playing together, initiating socialization and even asking each other for things. My favorite part of the end of the year in my school is taking part in so many fun activities and watching my students just be kids. It is there that some of their real progress really comes out. For a lot of my students, the biggest issue is learning how to socialize appropriately. These activities are great ways for us teachers to see how much our students have come in that aspect of their lives, During the year, we are constantly assessing their academic progress, but very rarely, is the focus ever on strict social skills. My heart melted the day of my class's carnival. We had extra popcorn, and M was sitting with the entire bowl in front of him. (M, an only child has been learning this year that he needs to share.) E was on the computer as we were getting ready to go home and turns around and says "Popcorn please." M turns around and gives E a few pieces of popcorn and E goes back to the computer. A few seconds later, E asks again for popcorn, and the cycle goes on for about five minutes, E asking and M giving him about 3 pieces of popcorn each time. E had the biggest smile on his face each time M would turn around to give him popcorn. The first couple of times I saw this interaction, I was tempted to step in and give E a napkin full of popcorn, since M was only giving up 3 pieces at a time, but seeing how much the two of them enjoyed the exchange I stayed out of it and just enjoyed the progress both boys have shown. M, in the beginning of the year never liked to share anything he considered to be his, this included classroom toys and items that he especially liked. He would hide his favorite books and toys throughout the room so that no one else would get them before him and so he would be the only one who knew where they were. When we would make him share, even if it was just taking a small piece of the putty he liked to give to another student, he would flip out. We worked really hard to teach him that the things in school are not his and that he needs to share with his friends, but as all things go, some days were much harder than others, and even the easy days required a reminder to share. E always looked to interact with his classmates, but had a hard time focusing long enough to engage anyone. He required prompting to initiate the interaction, and even more so to keep it going. By May he would sit at the kidney table and say hi to various classmates, and a few of them would respond back and he would get so excited. To see that E independently asked for the popcorn from M and M independently shared with him, was a huge step for the two of them. That little moment made all of the fighting and tantrums from M, and all of the pushing of E to keep going and chasing his friends so worth it. Even though we go right back into the swing of things July 5th, it feels good to cap off the year celebrating my students' accomplishments, and planning for next years activities. I am fortunate enough to be keeping 4 of my same students next September, so I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go with them, it is good to reflect on where they are now as opposed to where they were in September, and now for 4 of them I am finalizing my plans on where I want them to be this time next year. This year has been full of pleasant surprises from my students, from J starting to speak, to Mo spontaneously spelling out words, to C going from having a tough time progressing in his ABA programs to speeding through his reading, adding, and personal info, I couldn't be any happier with how far we have all come. I have learned so much from my students this year and can only hope that they have learned half as much from me as I have from them. I am looking forward to my final hurrah with my superstars this summer, and will miss my other two who are moving on to different classrooms dearly, but I will never stop advocating for them and making sure their new teachers know how amazing they really are, despite what other teachers may say.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Everybody Can Learn
Not too long ago, I was sitting at lunch with some of my colleagues talking about our students and prospective classes for next year. The conversation turned to our Quality Review earlier in the year and the new demands that the "higher ups" are beginning to place on our students that resulted from it. We were discussing the relevance of these demands and protocols when one teacher, who quite frankly, no longer belongs teaching, if she ever did to begin with, starts saying how there are some children who just can't learn and that protocols such as rubrics and post-it notes attached to student work, are completely pointless and irrelevant to them. While I do agree that some of these protocols are not appropriate for some of our children especially at their cognitive levels, I was appalled that anyone, let alone a teacher would ever say that a child can not learn. Some children have behaviors that make it more difficult to learn, and others have cognitive deficiencies that may limit how far they may go, but EVERYBODY can learn. Anyone who thinks different does not belong working with children, let alone TEACHING them! In what world do you believe in training animals, but believe that a child, no matter how severely disabled, cannot learn? I have worked with children of various abilities and cognitive levels and although it took longer for some than others, every student that I have worked with has learned and progressed. This doesn't make me a phenomenal teacher, it just means that I have faith in my students and encourage them to keep trying their best, by celebrating the small victories in their progress, and showing them how to take pride in themselves and their work. Kids can sense whether or not a person likes them and whether or not a person believes in them. If you didn't have your parents pushing you and supporting you, would you have tried as hard as you did, or become the person you are today? If kids can tell that you don't expect anything from them they aren't going to go out of their way to prove you wrong, they're going to live down to your expectations. In a lot of ways it can seem to make their lives easier. Why ask for something and then wait for you to be ready to give it to them, when they can just throw a tantrum and get it right away? Why deal with buttons and zippers when you can stand there and have someone else dress you? The worst thing anyone can do to a child is to underestimate him. If you take nothing else away from my posts, make sure you always believe in your children, and every child with whom you will work. Know that he can learn and will as long as you remain patient with him, and push him.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
The Extraordinary is Inside......Waiting
I had a professor in college who had a poster on his office door that said "The Extraordinary is Inside...Waiting." He would oftentimes incorporate this quote into his lectures, and even had it put on the t-shirts for our education honor society. He used this quote to motivate us to work hard and search to find the extraordinary within ourselves.
As a teacher, I use this quote to remind myself that all of my students, regardless of their behavior issues or cognitive abilities, are extraordinary in their own way. When I look at my students I see them for their strengths, not their weaknesses. When I first looked at my class roster last June, I saw bright, mostly verbal kids with a lot of personality and potential. I saw all the activities I could do with them, and was excited to start the new year. Others, I had found out later looked at my class and saw their negative behaviors; anxious, crying, tantrums, stubborn etc. I honestly believe that one major reason my students' behaviors didn't take over my class, was because my staff and I truly cared for our students and focused on their strengths and positive traits rather than their negative ones. Whenever a negative behavior started to arise, we would nip it in the bud, and continue about our day. We only focused on the positive behaviors, and gave our students opportunities to succeed instead of fail.
I firmly believe that children live down to expectations as much as they live up to them. Children are very intuitive and can sense when they are liked and disliked by adults. If a child can already tell that an adult doesn't like him before the school year even starts, what motivation does he have to do his best and work hard? When he knows that he is only expected to cause trouble and act out, then why even try and behave? It is our duty as teachers to see the extraordinary in all of our students and bring it out for the world to see. If we don't then who will?
As a teacher, I use this quote to remind myself that all of my students, regardless of their behavior issues or cognitive abilities, are extraordinary in their own way. When I look at my students I see them for their strengths, not their weaknesses. When I first looked at my class roster last June, I saw bright, mostly verbal kids with a lot of personality and potential. I saw all the activities I could do with them, and was excited to start the new year. Others, I had found out later looked at my class and saw their negative behaviors; anxious, crying, tantrums, stubborn etc. I honestly believe that one major reason my students' behaviors didn't take over my class, was because my staff and I truly cared for our students and focused on their strengths and positive traits rather than their negative ones. Whenever a negative behavior started to arise, we would nip it in the bud, and continue about our day. We only focused on the positive behaviors, and gave our students opportunities to succeed instead of fail.
I firmly believe that children live down to expectations as much as they live up to them. Children are very intuitive and can sense when they are liked and disliked by adults. If a child can already tell that an adult doesn't like him before the school year even starts, what motivation does he have to do his best and work hard? When he knows that he is only expected to cause trouble and act out, then why even try and behave? It is our duty as teachers to see the extraordinary in all of our students and bring it out for the world to see. If we don't then who will?
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Ten Things Your Child's Special Education Teacher Wishes You Knew pt. 2
Last week, I posted the first five things, us teachers would like for parents to know. Here are the next 5:
6. Each child is different. I've had parents that ask about all kinds services, diets etc. for their child because they had heard about another family using it and it doing wonders for that child. While we are thrilled that you are taking the initiative and researching therapies and methods that may help your child, know this; each child is different. What works for one child may not necessarily work for yours.
I teach children with Autism. Every child in my class is diagnosed with Autism, however, their strengths, weaknesses and needs vary greatly. And that's just within my small class, where they are all on somewhat similar academic levels. My school services children from pretty severely low functioning students to students in inclusion and very close to, if not on grade level. Just because another child may have the same diagnosis as yours, doesn't mean that they both need the same things, or thrive in the same programs. Some children need to be coddled a bit more and coaxed into following directions, etc. while others need a more firm, tough love approach. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we will hug, nurture, and spoil one child, while we punish and yell at yours, I am just saying that there are some children who struggle with understanding boundaries, so we need to set up more rigid ones.
Just like in general education, every child learns differently. It is our job to find out how your child best learns and adopt that approach when working with him. Some kids need constant reinforcement throughout their tasks, while others can complete multiple tasks and then receive one reinforcer at the end. Please don't see this as we like one child better so we are rewarding them more often. It is actually better if your child receives fewer reinforcements, because it means that he is much more independent and has the focus and ability to remain on task and complete his work without someone standing over him. The main goal is to wean these children off reinforcers altogether and have them able to complete a task simply because they were asked to. You never want your child to become dependent on anything, you want him to be as independent as possible.
7. It's ok to feel frustrated. We know that you love your child more than anything and that all you want is what is best for him. With that said, we also know that all children, even (and sometimes especially) those with special needs can drive you crazy. There is nothing wrong with feeling frustrated or with admitting that especially to us. I absolutely love my students as if they were my own children, but there are days when one, or all of them really try my patience and drive me crazy. I'm only with them 35 hours out of the week, where your child is with you for the remaining 133, he is absolutely going to get on your nerves eventually. In times like these, just take a step back, breathe, and really look at the situation. See if you can find a compromise where he is quiet and happy without you giving into everything he wants.
If/when you come to the point when you are at your wits end and are really at a loss for what to do, or even before you get to that point come and talk to us. We can help you set up some behavior plans, or token reward systems or routine to help ease your frustrations and make your child's and your lives easier. Never be ashamed to admit that you are frustrated, because if you try to say for one minute that your child has never driven you at least a little crazy, you either never spend time with him, or you are absolutely kidding yourself.
8. Sometimes you have to let him tantrum. I know this sounds really mean, not to mention really trying on your patience, but there are times when you have to let your child tantrum. Children learn very quickly what they need to do in order to get what they want. Their first instinct is naturally to cry for it. In all fairness, it worked when they were infants, and were hungry, needed to be changed or simply wanted to be held, so why not try it when they want a snack or a toy when you are out shopping. It was obviously acceptable for an infant to cry because he has no other way of communicating, however now that your child is older, it is no longer acceptable to scream and cry when he wants something. Even if he is nonverbal there are other ways to request what he wants, even if it is simply pointing to it.
Children who throw tantrums do so because they have learned that it is the most effective way to get what they want. If I knew that I could get $100 just from screaming and crying and throwing a fit every so often, then I would be kicking and screaming right now, but I can't so I had to learn other ways to get what I want. I understand that when you come home from a long tiring day at work, the last thing you want to do is listen to your child screaming and crying, and possibly throwing things all over the place, but that is what you need to do if you ever want those behaviors to go away. I won't lie to you, the tantrums will get much much worse initially, but as long as you stand your ground and don't give in, they will eventually go away. Trust me, he will try to break you. He will scream louder and longer, make a scene (especially if you are in public), and most likely kick swing and throw things. You have to stand your ground and let him tire himself out. If you give in, he will only learn that if he keeps it up, he will eventually get what he wants. It will be extremely frustrating and possibly embarrassing, but you must stick to your guns on this and let him ride it out so that he will learn that tantruming gets you nothing, and the only way to get what you want is to ask appropriately and wait nicely.
9. Think realistically. All parents have huge dreams for their children. Those dreams don't need to be crushed when you have a child with special needs, they just need to be adjusted. If your child is severely Autistic, he will probably not become a heart surgeon. Instead on dwelling on what he will probably never do, focus on what his strengths are and really relish the little victories. When one of my students learned his phone number, and called home; or independently wrote his first letter, we celebrated as if he had won the Nobel Prize. Little accomplishments are huge victories in the field of special education. Focus on the positives and the victories and you will see that although, your dreams and goals for your child may have changed, it can be just as rewarding when they do come true.
So you've made peace with the fact that your child may not go to Harvard. Now we need to focus on understanding and coming to terms with where you're child really is cognitively. I've had a parent ask me to put multiplication on her son's IEP, when her son was still struggling with double digit addition without carrying. This same parent has told me that she was hoping that one day her son would wake up and just no longer be Autistic. Many of you have heard testimonies of children who have gone on the Gluten and Casein free diets and were miraculously cured of Autism. I don't believe this for one minute. I do believe that some children are sensitive to gluten and casein, so by eliminating it from their diets, some of their behaviors have decreased, since it is no longer making them feel sick. There is no cure for Autism, and to this day the best treatment for it is Early Intervention. The sooner you come to terms with that the better you will be able to truly be an effective advocate for your child. If your child can not yet count, do not demand that they be learning addition. We need to move at the pace of the child so that he can reach his full potential.
10. Never stop fighting for your child. You are your child's greatest advocate. Unfortunately, many parents do not know what rights they or their child have when it comes to receiving services or aids in the home, and many parents aren't told what kind of help they can receive unless they are proactive and ask. The best way to learn is by asking. If you know that your child is capable of more than he is currently doing, then talk to us and voice your concerns. If you feel like you are getting shafted be louder. If the school gives you reasonable reasons as to why they do not think what you are asking for is appropriate then listen and talk it out in a civil manner, however, if they really do not seem like they are looking out for your child's best interest then get your case worker involved, or speak to other parents for advice and support. Most schools have a PTA or Parent Coordinator to inform parents of their rights and options.
The most important thing to keep in mind however, is to make sure you maintain a friendly relationship with your child's school. If you come in fighting people will be less willing to help you. If you come in respectful, and politely pursue what you want for your child, people will be more likely to listen to you and to really fight for you.
The parent I had spoken about earlier, who had mentioned that she had hoped that her child would wake up one day and no longer be Autistic, although was slightly delusional in that thought process, was not too far off to hope that. I had this student when he was 8 years old. She told me at this same IEP meeting that when he was first diagnosed, his doctors said he would never speak or progress very far at all. Here he is, years later, verbal, reading, writing, adding, and moving from a 6:1:1 to an 8:1:1. If his mother had taken what the doctors said to heart, and stopped fighting for him, I highly doubt he would have come so far.
Work with your school, and trust in their sincere advice, but the minute you feel your child can do more, fight for it.
I hope this list will help you when you are working and conversing with your child's teachers and school. Always remember that there will be ups and downs along the road, but the tougher the obstacle, the greater the victory. Throughout this journey always keep in mind that we are all working toward the same goal, and that is providing your child with the skills to succeed in life and independently as possible.
6. Each child is different. I've had parents that ask about all kinds services, diets etc. for their child because they had heard about another family using it and it doing wonders for that child. While we are thrilled that you are taking the initiative and researching therapies and methods that may help your child, know this; each child is different. What works for one child may not necessarily work for yours.
I teach children with Autism. Every child in my class is diagnosed with Autism, however, their strengths, weaknesses and needs vary greatly. And that's just within my small class, where they are all on somewhat similar academic levels. My school services children from pretty severely low functioning students to students in inclusion and very close to, if not on grade level. Just because another child may have the same diagnosis as yours, doesn't mean that they both need the same things, or thrive in the same programs. Some children need to be coddled a bit more and coaxed into following directions, etc. while others need a more firm, tough love approach. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we will hug, nurture, and spoil one child, while we punish and yell at yours, I am just saying that there are some children who struggle with understanding boundaries, so we need to set up more rigid ones.
Just like in general education, every child learns differently. It is our job to find out how your child best learns and adopt that approach when working with him. Some kids need constant reinforcement throughout their tasks, while others can complete multiple tasks and then receive one reinforcer at the end. Please don't see this as we like one child better so we are rewarding them more often. It is actually better if your child receives fewer reinforcements, because it means that he is much more independent and has the focus and ability to remain on task and complete his work without someone standing over him. The main goal is to wean these children off reinforcers altogether and have them able to complete a task simply because they were asked to. You never want your child to become dependent on anything, you want him to be as independent as possible.
7. It's ok to feel frustrated. We know that you love your child more than anything and that all you want is what is best for him. With that said, we also know that all children, even (and sometimes especially) those with special needs can drive you crazy. There is nothing wrong with feeling frustrated or with admitting that especially to us. I absolutely love my students as if they were my own children, but there are days when one, or all of them really try my patience and drive me crazy. I'm only with them 35 hours out of the week, where your child is with you for the remaining 133, he is absolutely going to get on your nerves eventually. In times like these, just take a step back, breathe, and really look at the situation. See if you can find a compromise where he is quiet and happy without you giving into everything he wants.
If/when you come to the point when you are at your wits end and are really at a loss for what to do, or even before you get to that point come and talk to us. We can help you set up some behavior plans, or token reward systems or routine to help ease your frustrations and make your child's and your lives easier. Never be ashamed to admit that you are frustrated, because if you try to say for one minute that your child has never driven you at least a little crazy, you either never spend time with him, or you are absolutely kidding yourself.
8. Sometimes you have to let him tantrum. I know this sounds really mean, not to mention really trying on your patience, but there are times when you have to let your child tantrum. Children learn very quickly what they need to do in order to get what they want. Their first instinct is naturally to cry for it. In all fairness, it worked when they were infants, and were hungry, needed to be changed or simply wanted to be held, so why not try it when they want a snack or a toy when you are out shopping. It was obviously acceptable for an infant to cry because he has no other way of communicating, however now that your child is older, it is no longer acceptable to scream and cry when he wants something. Even if he is nonverbal there are other ways to request what he wants, even if it is simply pointing to it.
Children who throw tantrums do so because they have learned that it is the most effective way to get what they want. If I knew that I could get $100 just from screaming and crying and throwing a fit every so often, then I would be kicking and screaming right now, but I can't so I had to learn other ways to get what I want. I understand that when you come home from a long tiring day at work, the last thing you want to do is listen to your child screaming and crying, and possibly throwing things all over the place, but that is what you need to do if you ever want those behaviors to go away. I won't lie to you, the tantrums will get much much worse initially, but as long as you stand your ground and don't give in, they will eventually go away. Trust me, he will try to break you. He will scream louder and longer, make a scene (especially if you are in public), and most likely kick swing and throw things. You have to stand your ground and let him tire himself out. If you give in, he will only learn that if he keeps it up, he will eventually get what he wants. It will be extremely frustrating and possibly embarrassing, but you must stick to your guns on this and let him ride it out so that he will learn that tantruming gets you nothing, and the only way to get what you want is to ask appropriately and wait nicely.
9. Think realistically. All parents have huge dreams for their children. Those dreams don't need to be crushed when you have a child with special needs, they just need to be adjusted. If your child is severely Autistic, he will probably not become a heart surgeon. Instead on dwelling on what he will probably never do, focus on what his strengths are and really relish the little victories. When one of my students learned his phone number, and called home; or independently wrote his first letter, we celebrated as if he had won the Nobel Prize. Little accomplishments are huge victories in the field of special education. Focus on the positives and the victories and you will see that although, your dreams and goals for your child may have changed, it can be just as rewarding when they do come true.
So you've made peace with the fact that your child may not go to Harvard. Now we need to focus on understanding and coming to terms with where you're child really is cognitively. I've had a parent ask me to put multiplication on her son's IEP, when her son was still struggling with double digit addition without carrying. This same parent has told me that she was hoping that one day her son would wake up and just no longer be Autistic. Many of you have heard testimonies of children who have gone on the Gluten and Casein free diets and were miraculously cured of Autism. I don't believe this for one minute. I do believe that some children are sensitive to gluten and casein, so by eliminating it from their diets, some of their behaviors have decreased, since it is no longer making them feel sick. There is no cure for Autism, and to this day the best treatment for it is Early Intervention. The sooner you come to terms with that the better you will be able to truly be an effective advocate for your child. If your child can not yet count, do not demand that they be learning addition. We need to move at the pace of the child so that he can reach his full potential.
10. Never stop fighting for your child. You are your child's greatest advocate. Unfortunately, many parents do not know what rights they or their child have when it comes to receiving services or aids in the home, and many parents aren't told what kind of help they can receive unless they are proactive and ask. The best way to learn is by asking. If you know that your child is capable of more than he is currently doing, then talk to us and voice your concerns. If you feel like you are getting shafted be louder. If the school gives you reasonable reasons as to why they do not think what you are asking for is appropriate then listen and talk it out in a civil manner, however, if they really do not seem like they are looking out for your child's best interest then get your case worker involved, or speak to other parents for advice and support. Most schools have a PTA or Parent Coordinator to inform parents of their rights and options.
The most important thing to keep in mind however, is to make sure you maintain a friendly relationship with your child's school. If you come in fighting people will be less willing to help you. If you come in respectful, and politely pursue what you want for your child, people will be more likely to listen to you and to really fight for you.
The parent I had spoken about earlier, who had mentioned that she had hoped that her child would wake up one day and no longer be Autistic, although was slightly delusional in that thought process, was not too far off to hope that. I had this student when he was 8 years old. She told me at this same IEP meeting that when he was first diagnosed, his doctors said he would never speak or progress very far at all. Here he is, years later, verbal, reading, writing, adding, and moving from a 6:1:1 to an 8:1:1. If his mother had taken what the doctors said to heart, and stopped fighting for him, I highly doubt he would have come so far.
Work with your school, and trust in their sincere advice, but the minute you feel your child can do more, fight for it.
I hope this list will help you when you are working and conversing with your child's teachers and school. Always remember that there will be ups and downs along the road, but the tougher the obstacle, the greater the victory. Throughout this journey always keep in mind that we are all working toward the same goal, and that is providing your child with the skills to succeed in life and independently as possible.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Ten Things Your Child's Special Education Teacher Wishes You Knew part 1
Back in college, I read two books entitled "Ten Things Your Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" and "Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew" I found both books to be very informative.
I have been teaching now for 2 1/2 years and I have heard stories about and experienced parents demanding some outrageous things for their child. They do so, thinking that these extra services or ways of handling tantrums etc. is what the child needs, when in actuality, these demands, at times, end up doing more harm than good.
With that said; I have devised my own list from the teacher's perspective. Some of these items are very similar, but I felt they were important to reiterate. Since the explanations make this post rather long, I've decided to break it up in into two posts Here are the first five:
I have been teaching now for 2 1/2 years and I have heard stories about and experienced parents demanding some outrageous things for their child. They do so, thinking that these extra services or ways of handling tantrums etc. is what the child needs, when in actuality, these demands, at times, end up doing more harm than good.
With that said; I have devised my own list from the teacher's perspective. Some of these items are very similar, but I felt they were important to reiterate. Since the explanations make this post rather long, I've decided to break it up in into two posts Here are the first five:
Ten Things Your Child's Special Education Teacher Wishes You Knew
1. We are on your team.
Our job is to work with your child and to teach your child the skills he/she needs to know to have a fuller, more independent life. Just like you, our main goal is to do what is best for your child. There may be times when we disagree on things, such as academic goals, amount of services or behavior interventions; but we are not looking to go up against you. Keep an open mind when we voice our concerns and opinions, they come from a genuine place. If you still don't fully agree with us, we can work out a compromise, but only push that after you listen to our reasons.
2. More is not always better.
I've had parents request bus paras, 1:1s and more intensive services for their child who does not need these supports. I understand that these parents think that their child having all of this individualized attention and intensive therapies each year, will help their child progress faster and farther, but that is not always true. As your child gets older, you want the services to decrease, otherwise your child will become dependent on other people instead of learning to rely on himself.
It is also important to have fewer services in middle school and high school, if you are hoping to have your child in a group home when they reach adulthood. Group homes can be great for people with special needs to live as independently as they can, while still having the supports they may need. I worked for an organization where they had a group home that was an apartment building. Each individual had their own apartment and was very independent. They cooked for themselves, walked or took the bus to and from their jobs on their own, and took care of themselves almost completely independently. There was staff on site to ensure safety and supervise the tenants. The staff ran fire drills and aided tenants when they needed it. Good group homes have only so much space, and do not like to take individuals who still require 1:1 support or other intensive therapies. Not only is it expensive, but these homes try to foster independence and that is almost impossible to do if a 20 year old is still receiving Speech, OT or PT 5 times a week.
Even if you never considered placing your child in a group home, you need to think long term. You want your child to be as independent as possible so they can take care of themselves when they get older. What happens when your child outlives you? Especially if he is an only child? The more dependent he is on others, the harder it will be to find someone who is able/willing to look after him.
I teach in an elementary school, so my students' parents aren't thinking very far ahead yet, but you need to. We will never cut or decrease a service that your child absolutely needs. Although it may not seem like it, it is a good thing when a service gets cut. It means your child has progressed so far that he no longer needs that extra support.
3. We want you to ask us for help.
We are not here to judge you. We understand that you may not know everything there is to know about raising a child with special needs. Most of my students' parents have never heard the word Autism until their child was diagnosed with it. We want you to educate yourself to help both you and your child, and at times that can mean asking us questions. We went to school for this we took multiple courses and had to pass multiple tests (at least in NY) in order to be certified; there is a good chance we will have an answer for you. On the off chance we don't, we will give you a name, number or website to go to that will provide you with an answer.
We are thrilled to have parents ask us questions because that means that you are taking an active role in your child's learning, doing all you can to help your child succeed. I personally look forward to parent teacher conferences so I can get a chance to meet with my students' parents, talk about what's going on in school and hear about how they are at home. I encourage parents to come in and talk, write to me in the notebook or call me if they have any questions or need anything, such as Mayer Johnson pictures, social stories etc. We want you to feel comfortable opening up to us about any issues you may be having at home so we can offer some advice to you and even, if possible, work on it in school as well.
4. We need to work together to ensure consistency.
All children, especially those with special needs thrive with consistency. If you punish your child one day for not cleaning his room, but then the next day, let him go out to a party with the room still not cleaned, he's going to learn that he doesn't need to listen to you when you tell him to do something, he just needs to catch you at the right time to get what he wants. One thing all children figure out early on, special needs or not, is how to get what they want. If you tell your child that after he cleans up his toys he can have a snack, and you stick to that everyday no matter how much of a fit he throws, he will learn that no matter what he does he won't get his snack until he cleans up his toys. Now it becomes part of his routine. He now knows that after he's finished playing and he wants a snack, he first needs to clean up his toys and then he will get it. This is where parent-teacher communication is very important. We need to work together especially on problem behaviors to teach your child what is expected of him both in school and at home. We can work on behavior plans and token reward systems to implement at home and in school to help resolve certain issues.
5. We genuinely care about your child.
No matter how many behaviors your child may have, or how cognitively "low" he may be, we honestly and genuinely care for him and want to see him succeed as best he can. Anything we suggest for him, whether it be a change in services, a doctor visit or even medication, we are doing so with the sincere belief that it will benefit your child. I, personally am not sure where I stand on the whole medication debate, however, I've seen medication do wonders for some children. I've also seen it turn kids into drones, so I'm not saying for every parent to go out and drug your child, but if I ever suggest for a parent to take their child to a neurologist and inquire about medication, it is because I sincerely believe it may help him. I will not make any suggestions to make yours or my lives easier if it is not beneficial to my student, because quite honestly, the thing that will make everyone's lives easier in the end is by working diligently with your child and doing what is best for him. When he is happy, healthy and reaching his full potential, then and only then have I done my job.
We are thrilled to have parents ask us questions because that means that you are taking an active role in your child's learning, doing all you can to help your child succeed. I personally look forward to parent teacher conferences so I can get a chance to meet with my students' parents, talk about what's going on in school and hear about how they are at home. I encourage parents to come in and talk, write to me in the notebook or call me if they have any questions or need anything, such as Mayer Johnson pictures, social stories etc. We want you to feel comfortable opening up to us about any issues you may be having at home so we can offer some advice to you and even, if possible, work on it in school as well.
4. We need to work together to ensure consistency.
All children, especially those with special needs thrive with consistency. If you punish your child one day for not cleaning his room, but then the next day, let him go out to a party with the room still not cleaned, he's going to learn that he doesn't need to listen to you when you tell him to do something, he just needs to catch you at the right time to get what he wants. One thing all children figure out early on, special needs or not, is how to get what they want. If you tell your child that after he cleans up his toys he can have a snack, and you stick to that everyday no matter how much of a fit he throws, he will learn that no matter what he does he won't get his snack until he cleans up his toys. Now it becomes part of his routine. He now knows that after he's finished playing and he wants a snack, he first needs to clean up his toys and then he will get it. This is where parent-teacher communication is very important. We need to work together especially on problem behaviors to teach your child what is expected of him both in school and at home. We can work on behavior plans and token reward systems to implement at home and in school to help resolve certain issues.
5. We genuinely care about your child.
No matter how many behaviors your child may have, or how cognitively "low" he may be, we honestly and genuinely care for him and want to see him succeed as best he can. Anything we suggest for him, whether it be a change in services, a doctor visit or even medication, we are doing so with the sincere belief that it will benefit your child. I, personally am not sure where I stand on the whole medication debate, however, I've seen medication do wonders for some children. I've also seen it turn kids into drones, so I'm not saying for every parent to go out and drug your child, but if I ever suggest for a parent to take their child to a neurologist and inquire about medication, it is because I sincerely believe it may help him. I will not make any suggestions to make yours or my lives easier if it is not beneficial to my student, because quite honestly, the thing that will make everyone's lives easier in the end is by working diligently with your child and doing what is best for him. When he is happy, healthy and reaching his full potential, then and only then have I done my job.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Seeing Past the Autism to the True Person Inside
I am just about finished reading Carly's Voice. A story about a girl in Toronto who suffers from severe Autism. When you look at Carly, the first thing most people notice is all of her Autistic behaviors. It is not until you take some time to get to know her that you see her intelligence, sense of humor, and all around great personality. For those of you who have not heard of Carly Fleichmann, she is a now 16 year old girl who is nonverbal, and displays many behaviors that go along with being severely Autistic, such as flapping, rocking, bleating, etc. Carly had been working intensely with therapists since her initial diagnosis, but her inability to communicate prevented her from showing her true abilities. At the age of 12, while working with her therapists, she typed out "HELPTEETHHURT". From then on Carly has not only introduced her family to her true self, but also educated the world about what it really means to be Autistic, and has given a voice to so many people who are not able to use their own. Reading this book has really opened my eyes to what it is really like to have Autism. It has made me that much more sensitive to my students and what they are going through. I have always known that people with Autism have sensory issues, but the way Carly described what was going on with her body, how her legs feel like they are on fire, and her arms feel like they are crawling with ants, and the only way to relieve those sensations is to bang her body on the table or walls. Carly has written about how frustrating and hurtful is was to be scolded for banging or yelling, when she couldn't help herself or she was doing those things to prevent her body from doing something even more destructive. The way Carly explained how people with Autism filter sounds, and process visuals, shows us that even when they seem like they are in a completely different world, they are still aware of everything that is going on around them. Many people tend to think that people with Autism, especially those who are nonverbal, are not intelligent and do not comprehend the world around them. This is a gross misjudgment and an insult to these people. I have worked with people of many different disabilities and varying degrees of these disabilities, and I treat them all like what they are-people. I talk to them like I would anyone else their age. I have more patience and appreciate that some may need a little more time to process what I am saying, but just because they are in diapers, or cannot speak does not mean they cannot comprehend typical conversation. What is even more disgusting to me is that there are people who claim to be experts that are calling Carly a fraud. They don't believe that it could ever be possible that someone with Autism as severe as hers can have such intelligence and candor. I believe these "experts" should be stripped of their titles and degrees. Especially these so-called "education experts". As an educator you should be steadfast in your belief that everyone can learn and be relentless in your efforts to find ways to teach those who have a hard time excelling with conventional teaching methods. It is not up to us to decide that a student has reached their learning potential, and can no longer learn. It is our DUTY to keep pushing our students to succeed despite the odds and others' low expectations of them. Why is it so hard for people to believe that people with Autism can be intelligent, well spoken people? Having Autism, means your brain is just wired differently, not defective. In actuality, having Autism gives these people abilities us "neurotypicals" don't have. People with Autism perceive the world differently than neurotypicals, and in that way they can have a great impact, and can solve problems that we have never been able to solve. When everyone looks at a problem and attacks it from the same viewpoint and perspective, no real solution will ever discovered. Now comes a person who has a different outlook on things. This person is more sensitive to sounds, textures and visuals, and because of this approaches the problem for a different direction, and finds a solution. We need to embrace these differences and do what we can to help those we know who have Autism to overcome their sensory issues and open up and reveal their true selves; their whole person. The old adage, "You can't judge a book by its cover" has never been so appropriate as it is when working with people with Autism, or any other special needs diagnosis.
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